Episode 08: Victoria

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In this episode, I interview Victoria, mother of 2 school aged girls and 1 half of a ‘2 parents working full time’ family. We talk about commuting, OSHC and a projectile brush with the law 😉

The Lowdown

– Family of 4
– 2 Full-time working parents
– 2 school aged child, 1 with complex health/dietary needs

  

3:10 Sleep
3:34 Daylight Savings and getting more sleep
4:04 Getting older and having to go to bed earlier
4:20 Night owls most productive at night
5:14 Who are the people in your family
5:40 2 parents in full-time work
5:50 Long commutes
6:02 English commutes and congestion
8:34 Parenting superpowers
8:40 Project management!
8:58 Trying to be organised with food allergies and different meals
9:12 3 Different meals in one evening
9:26 Slow eaters!!!
9:50 Learning to eat FAST
10:44 Using the slow eater lag time to get things done
11:00 Quality time afterwards
11:24 Early morning = less stress
12:06 Husband super power – storytelling
12:32 Story time is engaged and fun
12:56 Tickles at bed time
12:18 Having parents provide different elements at bed time
13:52 How are the drop-offs managed?
14:00 It’s a bit of a process!
14:26 Tuesdays accommodating medical appointments and late work meetings
14:48 Losing lunch containers at school
16:22 Putting lunch containers directly in lost property!
17:08 It was the birds! The birds!
17:32 Friday night takeaway night
17:52 The 6pm everyone has just got home and is hungry effect
18:54 Doing pick up and checking in with the kids
19:10 The 6pm everyone has just got home and is hungry and wants to show your their school work effect
19:38 Do you feel like to had a choice in your path?
20:00 Industry crashing meaning work dries up
20:38 Skill up when not in employment
21:14 Either full-time work or nothing
21:58 Experiencing not being able to find work, understanding more when partner was going through the same
22:38 Bad cycle – no work, looking after sick kids, feeling isolated
23:22 Turning point away from depression via regular catch-ups with friends
24:00 Applied for the same job as had done previously and not been successful
24:10 Study, internships, other experience was beneficial to selection process
24:18 Success!
24:28 Impact on kids time in care….
24:32…..beneficial from mental health and financial perspective
24:58 Didn’t feel in the position to negotiate flexible work arrangements
26:00 Flexibility in different forms, offer of mental health day
27:00 One person per project necessitates being available all the time
28:22 Understaffed
28:46 What works well
28:54 Flexibility when we need it (sick child)
29:46 Sharing the load
30:00 Working from home with sick kids
30:34 Downsides?
31:34 Getting up earlier and having quality family time when mornings aren’t a rush
32:20 Reverse the day
32:30 Quality family time when they are in a good mood!
32:52 Medical treatment for youngest has changed days dramatically
34:12 Kids being able to change tempo at bed time
34:40 Kiddy crash tackle hugs
37:10 Level of stress before you step into the door at work
37:26 What other things have you tried in the past
37:42 Mother in Law, Family Day Care
39:42 Working from home and also using childcare
40:00 Working from home with an under 1 yo vs an over 1 yo
41:38 Luxury of a day in the office
42:42 Overseas work travel – being the one leaving
44:22 Transitioning to one parent when the other is away
46:04 Hard being the parent away
47:10 But all mothers should do it!
47:46 Next evolution for the family?
47:50 Kids getting more responsibility and jobs
49:46 Family responsibility well supported
50:12 Never been an issue when time has been required
50:46 Setting an example for the team in regards to flexible work
51:50 Setting the boundaries for what is overstepping the mark
53:02 Do the right thing and it comes back to you
53:15 Funny or disastrous moments?
53:18 Meltdowns!
54:00 Projectile brush with the law
55:58 Is family what you expected?
56:00 Different size than expected
56:50 Probably expected different trajectory of part time work then building up from there
58:18 Parenthood is very different deal to our parents time
58:58 After school activities
59:38 Expectation is that we do more with children
1:00:10 OSHC and learning to relate to kids of different ages
1:00:58 Be gentle on yourself
1:02:50 Just a couple of country girls
1:03:18 We don’t relate to our community in the same way as when we were younger – how do we break that down?
1:04:04 Car seats and trying to take an extra kid
1:05:06 Petite kids in car seats for so long
1:06:12 Podcast hosts aversion to people movers
1:06:48 Maybe she needs to eat her words
1:08:10 Going to friends houses after school used to be the best!
1:08:52 Instilling an understanding of how much kids have these days
1:10:04 The concept of doing many many activities seen as being the ideal
1:11:00 Experiment with over-scheduled kids (I think the TV show was this one: Frantic Family Rescue http://www.abc.net.au/tv/programs/frantic-family-rescue/)
1:12:36 Why are we doing all these activities – a head start? competitive?

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I don’t think I have any super powers, I think it is project management   There are no rule books and you are going to get things wrong